We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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