The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
