He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
