so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
