this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
