Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Who died my cat blue again?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
