we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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