is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Actions speak louder than pants.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
