jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
