you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
