the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
