'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
