i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
