woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
