And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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