I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I would fuck him just for his dog
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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