everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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