Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
