dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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