is your mom at the bar?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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