we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
