There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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