He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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