This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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