Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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