Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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