I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
