forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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