So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
