I'm jealous of your bromance
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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