No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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