Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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