you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
as a side note pls kill me
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