i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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