Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just had sex on a roof
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
