he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
