VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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