Just took my morning after pill in the library
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
