loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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