69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
