i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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