Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
