I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
