What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
