girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
