Fuck appropriateness.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize