so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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