So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
