HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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