But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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