You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
