i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
