just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
