In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
