he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
