This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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