Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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