So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
